For the reference of those who want to become leaders or members of evil cults, here are some of the dos and don’ts:
Having two faiths in an indicator that you are a beginner in cults, just choose one and run with it.
During ceremonies which involve human sacrifice, be sure you know the requirements for the victims so that unacceptable substitutes can be avoided.
If failure to achieve an objective or do a deed is punishable by death then maybe a reevaluation of a more lenient deity is in order, especially if you’re not good at anything in particular.
Be sure to practice the proper pronunciation of your chosen deity’s name in the comfort and relative safety of your quarters prior to any public or group chanting to avoid embarrassment and unnecessary penalties. Use of index cards is advisable.
If you are required to be impregnated by some supernatural being/herald of your deity, do a background check on the survival rate of those previously impregnated just to be sure.
Never invoke anything bigger than your head.
Check the age group of the members of your prospective cult, if the worshippers of certain deity are all young then turn your back on them and look for another. These types often have a rather unpleasant retirement procedure.
Try your best to avoid overweight cult jewelry as it tends to attract the attention of tourists, law enforcement agents, a gamut of supernatural creatures and can present a danger to your person in the event of a lightning related weather disturbance. Oh and the noise it makes always diminishes your chances of stealthily attacking the hero.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT use citronella candles in the shape of cute or cuddly animals. These are, to the powers of darkness, what, Tom is to Jerry and sunlight is to a 1950s movie vampire.
Bright lights, such as those using Fluorescent bulbs tend to annoy most creatures of the netherworld.
To escape demons enraged due to the failure of the Black Mass, stay away from the pompous evil priest.
Close your eyes if a religious artifact starts emitting a powerful light. Following this tip could have saved the lives of countless cult members.
Avoid mutilating cattle with testicles.
During ritual sacrificing, taking bits home for later is now generally regarded as distasteful.
Avoid mixing drugs and incantations so that when everything really goes to hell, figuratively and literally, you are able to discern which gibbering monstrosities are to be pumped full of silver bullets and which will fade after a hot shower, coffee, and a few hours sleep.
Faith a piety are powerful things and few forces in the world can withstand one who is true to his faith, his deity, and the deal made in exchange for his/her immortal soul. Unfortunately, it is also true that gods tend to side with the heaviest artillery, so be prepared to change sides when it seems like the best time to do so.
When, for whatever reason, living sacrifices are unavailable then an alternative would be to microwave a previously frozen chunk of former sacrifice leftovers and cleverly jiggling it. A mock victim made of SPAM does not work very well and may instead anger said demons.
Lastly, go past the need to choose victims who are young, beautiful, virginal and innocent, there is usually a hero or group of heroes waiting to save them. Rather try to select individuals such as mass murders, rapists, bad drivers, lawyers and other similar people who will not be missed by society in general.